Best Funny Facebook Status Quotes

Best Funny Facebook Status Quotes

cool facebook statuses

• You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
• Losing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
• Bigamy: One wife too many. Monogamy: Same thing.
• I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
• World Population Rank: 1.China 2.India 3.Facebook 4.USA 5.MySpace 6.Indonesia 7.Brazil 8.Twitter
• If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
• An apple a day keeps the doctor away but if the doctor is beautiful throw the apple away!
• This dog is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
• Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
• Some men inherit money, some earn it, and some are lawyers.
• Why don't you understand me like my iPhone does??
• If I were any more single, I'd be a fraction. :)

Funny Facebook Status Quotes and Jokes

cool facebook statuses

1

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If Google can't find it, you are screwed.

3 points

2

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I stepped on a cornflake. Does that mean I'm a cereal killer?

3 points

3

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I am in a relationship with studies and it's complicated

2 points

4

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Yo Mamas So Fat She Downloaded Cheats For Wii Fat!

2 points

5

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You don't know a women till you've met her in court.

2 points

6

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When I'm bored, nobody texts me, but when I'm busy, my phone blows up.

1 point

7

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Is that your ex? No, that's the biggest mistake of my life.

1 point

8

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Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but duck when you throw a revolver at him?

1 point

9

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I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

1 point

10

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Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

1 point

11

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All work and no play, will make you a manager.

1 point

12

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http://dietsolutionhelp.com/1 point

13

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I want my ex boyfriend back

more...1 point

14

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My Facebook wall is broken.

0 points

15

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If "poli" means many, and "tics" mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does "politics" mean?

0 points

16

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I woke up on the wrong side of Facebook.

0 points

17

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I once cried when I had no Facebook....Then i met someone with no Internet!

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18

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Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.

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19

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Computers: Working daily to make the human brain obsolete.

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