facebook status update ideas
cool facebook statuses
- Before I criticize someone, I walk a mile wearing their shoes! You
know why? Because when they see hear me criticize them, I am a mile
away and I have their shoes!
- The most darkest time is just before dawn, so if you are looking to
steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the right time to do it! Lolz
- Do you think or feel that nobody in this world cares about you? Well, try missing on some credit card payments!
- The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, and the
more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother
to learn? Hehe ~ Famous Saying
- Someday your prince will come. Mine took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions. ~ Anonymous
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. ~ J.B. Morton
- It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. ~Weinberg
- All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. ~ Jane Wagner
- I'm so poor I can't even pay attention. ~ Ron Kittle
- Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone
wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one
night. ~ Charlie Brown
- Do you wanna know how can you keep your profile visitors under total suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.
- I'm not as think as you drunk I am. ~ Mega Jones
- I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow. ~ Billy Connolly
- Never test how deep the water is with both your feet! If you have,
just go swimming! If you don't know swimming%u2026why were you testing??
- Always save electricity! How would you feel if someone turns you on and leaves?
- It's good to be in a relationship! After all, you cannot blame everything on God and Government! Lolz
- Never aim of being irreplaceable! If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted!
- Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac ~ George Carlin
- Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. ~ Anonymous
- The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on
Awesome ideas for Facebook status updates
cool facebook statuses
- Some things man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google.
- Aaah! Finally I got a password for my computer other than just "password".
- One should learn how to save water! Go and shower with your neighbor's daughter.
- Have you ever had a fly land on your computer screen and your first
reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor? (I don't know about
you, but I have done this a couple of times).
- %u2026isfaci ngamaj orprob lemwi hisspa cebarple asehelp.
- Be nice to nerds. Who knows probably you will be working for them one day.
- I do give the waiters a good tip, but they never seem to take or appreciate my advice.
- Dear Lord, please give me some patience NOW! NOW! NOW!
- Oh hello! I see that the assassins have failed.
- Making some changes to my life. Please leave a message and in case I don't get back, then know that you are one of the changes.
- At the airport customs, if you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" never reply, "Why? What do you need?"
- What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired, I just put down the mirror. Simple!
- Not all men are fools. There are still some bachelors.
- ..is dead. Yet here you are reading her update. What does that make you?
- ... is a big mystery that you can never solve.
- I said 'no' to drugs, but they simply would not listen.
- ... does not suffer from insanity. She is enjoying every minute of it.
- I am proud of myself. I finished the puzzle in just 6 months while the box said 2 to 4 years.
- ... thinks that if your relationship status is "it's complicated", then it's high time that you change it to 'single'.
- My computer beats me at chess. So what? It was no match for me at kick boxing.
- ... is color blind but is still trying to solve a Rubik cube. This could take a while.
- Women who seek to be at an equal level with men, lack ambition.
- Is swearing to drunk that he is not God.
- Bought some batteries for my children as Christmas gift and it has a note that says 'toys not included'.
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back ever.
- Children in backseats cause accidents - Accidents in backseats cause children.
- Always remember that stupidity is not a crime, so you are free to go.
- I think, and thus we have nothing in common.
- Statistically speaking, 8/6 people have trouble computing fractions.
- is wondering when can a chicken cross the road without being questioned?
- ... wants to kill the sexiest person alive, but suicide is a crime.
- ....went to the book store earlier to buy a 'Where's Wally' book.
When I got there, I couldn't find the book anywhere. Well played Wally,
well played.
- Congratulations! You've just read this sentence.
- Where there is a will, there are 100 relatives.
- ... warns you to be careful with your head, cause once even he had an open mind until all his brains fell off.
- A guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local
primary school's pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water%u2026..
Is that wrong?
No comments:
Post a Comment